Or more precisely, how not to. With technology advancing and the ever-increase of meet-and-dick apps, you’d think that people would have got the hang of it by now. Unfortunately not. I say unfortunately, but they do continue to provide us with such side-splitting entertainment. If you’re not particularly tech-savvy, here’s a few DON’Ts that might help…

1. DON’T… Show us what you had for breakfast


Oh, Rahul. Something tells me your not going to find any ‘dates’ looking out your pyloric sphincter.

2. DON’T… Get our hopes up


And by that I mean, did anyone else for a moment think he was drowning?

3. DON’T… Take your profile while going under


As flattering as the photo is, maybe that photoshoot after a 1.5 wasn’t such a great idea. Although ‘sleazy’ might suggest he isn’t too fussy about who he lets stick it in him anyway (as long as he’s squiffing it doesn’t count, right?)

4. DON’T… Lie about your age


Sister-friend. 28? “Bitch please”. Either you be smokin’ da reef or girl told a little porkie pie.

5. DON’T… Do the wet look/dry look


It didn’t work for Ashanti in the ‘Rain On Me’ video and I’m afraid it ain’t working for you sister.