Soon-to-be long gone, are the days when the only way anyone knew your search history, was if they knew your IP address. As of 2019 the British government will know exactly what gets you off, as you’ll have to provide age identification to access porn sites.

Following on from Tumblr’s porn ban, the British internet will ban porn altogether for those under 18 or without a valid ID, such as, a credit card, driving license or an age verification card. So effectively, they’ll be able to put a name to the wank bank.

We can’t wait until 2025 when we’ve all got chastity belts on.

MindGeek, which owns PornHub, YouPorn and Men.com, has already indicated that they’ll be implementing the new law which part of the Digital Ecomony Act. Something that could cost sites £250,000 if they don’t comply.

It really feels a bit excessive when you can parent-lock mobiles and home internet already; especially when there lay more danger to the underages in chat rooms than there does porn. Perhaps the initiative (or 16 and over) should be enforced on dating apps.

Earlier this year a 13-year-old boy was raped in his front garden after meeting a man off Grindr. Never heard of porn doing something that horrific to a person, but at least our countries priorities are in check…