If you thought the biggest inconvenience about rimjobs was the risk of a chocolate moustache, or a fart in your mouth, you’re in for a rude awakening. We thought we were at least, reasonably well educated, on gay sexual health, but a think-piece for NNN, has changed that…

Jasper Sparrow admits to having ‘lots of sex’, and claims to have never caught an STI in his entire 18 years hoeing. “As long as I get my quarterly STD testings, there’s nothing to worry about, right?” he asks.

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Although after experiencing a bout of “soupy” diarrhea (TMI?) about four years back, the results of his stool test came back positive for giardia. Isn’t that the Irish police?

“Giardia, I soon learned, is a parasite that infects the gastrointestinal system. It’s common in developing countries that don’t have clean water systems. You can contract it by ingesting or coming into contact with contaminated foods, soil, or water tainted by the feces of an infected carrier. You can also contract it from anal-oral contact.”

After finishing a course of antibiotics, Sparrow was in the clear one month later. But explains that “my gastrointestinal system was free not only from giardia, but also from all the ‘good’ bacteria that makes up my microbiome, too.”

Meaning that he couldn’t digest food properly, and it took several months for bowel movements to return to normal. Jasper details the discomfort and humiliation at conducting numerous stool samples, throughout his story.

In early 2017, his boyfriend, with whom he has an open relationship (and does “plenty of rimming”), catches giardia. Talk about inconvenient… although, fortunately, Jasper tested negative. But the drama doth not end there…

A few months later, his boyfriend got the stomach cramps and bloating again. This time his poop tested positive for entamoeba histolytica; another parasite popular in developing countries. Being on the safe side, Jasper decided to get tested too, and that too came back positive for the same virus.

After another hospital visit, it was clear that doctors were unfamiliar with this particular parasite and the standard protocol for treatment. But both were eventually prescribed two courses of different antibiotics.

“By the end of the treatment, I was 10 pounds lighter and my gastrointestinal microbiome would have to be completely rebuilt from scratch.” I mean, you’d probably need a stomach transplant, but at least you’d look great in a two-piece.

Believing their nightmare had truly ended, Jasper went on to contract giardia again a few months later, (this being a third gastrointestinal parasite. So it would seem that one builds up a susceptibility to the virus once initially caught.

Jasper’s GUM clinic had confessed that they don’t encourage partners to be tested, when one has giardia or entamoeba histolytica. It’s something they only encourage with symptoms. Much like Jasper, the second-time around.

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“I don’t know how many of you out there have sexually contracted a gastrointestinal parasite, but I do know our health care providers and departments of health are failing when it comes to keeping us informed about this issue,” Jasper concludes.

“I’m hoping to begin a dialogue and spread awareness,” he goes on, “Tell your friends about this gross story you read on the internet. And maybe, just maybe, think twice before you chow down on another dude’s ass.”

Read the full rimming horror story here.