When it comes to addiction, the verdict is usually non-conclusive with where it stems from, although this doctor seems to think hook-up apps have a part to play in turning us rational people into modern nymphomaniacs. Dr. Wendell Rosevear claims our urges for instant sex come from the rise of dating apps, and we’re manifesting into a bunch of harlots as the result.
In an interview with Curious Mail, the Doc also states that they can be responsible for altering our judgement when it comes to safe sex, and in-turn an increase of STIs.
“I think people are a bit immune to the burden of having to be safe with sex and a lot of people don’t like condoms,” he says. “But also there is now a sense of entitlement where people think: ‘it’s my right to have unsafe sex’. … They have disinhibited sex under the influence of ice or marijuana or alcohol, so they live in a world of no consequences.”
And here we were thinking it was GBL that turned people into horny bastards. Be careful next time you’re smoking a joint – you could end up in gangbang. “The simple equation is people who feel valued take care and people who don’t feel valuable take risk.” An interesting approach to unprotected sex, particularly in the gay community.
Rosevear goes on to say that those with “desperately lonely compartmentalized lives” can easily become “addicted to quick or anonymous sex”, and are even having TEN partners a day. Yowza. They must either be real hot, or real high. What app did you say they were using again?
Though this is something that has quite possibly could stemmed from social media:
“People are becoming more reliant on social media and app connection,” the doctor explains. “They are desperately wanting short, anonymous connection to alleviate that need to have a sense of belonging.” He goes on, “People who may not feel accepted or feel they could be vulnerable might use the attention as a substitute.” A ‘like’ is not a substitute for love, people. But it also means that we can have our sexual needs met without having to make ourselves emotionally vulnerable.
And apparently as gay men, we’re even more susceptible to the wrath of 2-D relationships, “People can be quite lonely, a lot of gay people fear they will end up old and alone, but equally, the internet does allow people to connect who may not otherwise meet,” the doctor warns. “I have patients who spend their whole lives through internet socialization but can’t meet face-to-face with friends on the internet. Some patients have only internet lives, they even have sex only over the internet.” That sounds like an extreme case but if we were gonna say we haven’t seen a multitude of Grindr-Zombies in our time, we’d be lying. Still though, you can always count on that bitch to suck the life out of a party quicker than she sucks HungTop84.
Finally, Rosevear suggests that, “People are pushed into seeking validation from as many sexual partners as they can. That recipe of using attention as a substitute for acceptance means they get tunnel vision of only seeing the immediate gratification.” After all, who wants to work for acceptance when you can get it easily? The difference being that, immediate gratification doesn’t last anywhere near as long as those built on a substantial connection.