For some weird reason Caitlyn Jenner will be covering Sports Illustrated naked. Well, actually it’s not a weird reason, it’s sales. Although whether anybody would actually pay for a copy of a magazine with Caitlyn Jenner’s sack of skin on the cover is questionable. Although she earned enough money from that steaming pile of turd she squeezed out all over the E! Channel, to purchase enough copies herself and stash them in some room of her mansion she never knew existed.
Still though, it only demonstrates the talentless creatives that are pulling the strings — you can just imagine the board meeting brainstorm, “SO, let’s get Caitlyn on the cover ’cause she’s transgender, and we’re all-inclusive and politically correct. Even though politically, she’s incorrect, hopefully nobody will notice that ’cause we’ll get rid of all of her clothes.”
“Yes, Bob! Think of the Vanity Fair Cover, we’ll get shit loads of coverage!”
“Genius Richard! And throw in a Gold Medal, ’cause she used to be an athlete 400 years ago.”
Bunch of absolute plebs. WHO GIVES A FUCK?! Sorry, but I don’t want to see Bruce naked as a man, and I don’t want to see Caitlyn naked as a woman. As we said in our letter to the fashion industry, if you want to be progressive, find real trans sportspeople. With voices. Things to say. Stories to tell. Pick ANY one of the beautiful and courageous trans men that were featured in Attitude Magazine or Men’s Health – oh no, but they won’t cause as much of a shit show. And it falls on the 40th anniversary of Jenner’s world decathlon record, so it’s totally relevant!
Speaking of her Olympic Medals, Jenner says:
“I never wanted my kids to feel like they had to have a gold medal in order to be considered a success, I didn’t want them to constantly compare their own achievements to my time in the Olympics, so I haven’t displayed my medal.”
Hmm, cute sentiment. But perhaps if you did display them your children would have had something to aspire to, to work hard for. But the irony here is that they DON’T need a gold medal to be considered a success; just a few million Instagram followers and a camera crew following them around.
Caitlyn goes on, “That was a great time in my life. But to be honest with you, it’s even a greater time in my life right now with what I’m trying to accomplish.”
PAH. It’s a greater time in your life right now because you got DOLLAR falling our of your Victoria Secrets.