As gay as Grindr is, sometimes the best policy to be straight (as in direct, not heterosexual).

“What a load of old shit!”

In hindsight, I wish I’d said:
“I’m gonna piss on your face, and I’m’na fart in your mouth and I’m’na shit on these walls Ray, ooh! Too Dirty?!” – Brenda, Scary Movie. Somehow there’s always an apt quote from Scary Movie to unusual sexual requests.

That’s how you do it bitch. *Files nails