Naked Attraction closed its 11th season with a peen-packed episode.

The first contestant was bisexual Lauren who was looking for a gamer to ‘play’ with. Here are the joysticks she’s presented with in round 1:

Ultimately, Lauren ditches Blue – a nerdy company director – and Red (much against our better judgement), and leaves Green and Orange as her final two. Tune in to find out who she picks for a date.

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Next up is top knot Ryan who goes mincing around Soho square in a shiny rainbow jacket and short-shorts… *Sigh* I really hope production made him do that, and it wasn’t of his own accord.

Ryan says that his celebrity crush is Philip Schofield; think you’re about 15 years too old for him, buddy.

Ryan loves feet but “hates bent cocks”. Here’s his options:

Ryan narrows his final options down to Blue and Orange:

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Before Ryan heads backstage to strip off himself:

But the real entertainment comes during the date, so if you don’t want a “spoiler” lol, stop reading.

He picks Blue who rocks up to the date in a crop top (not exactly Schofield vibes), and the pair end up dancing in Manchester’s G-A-Y bar. One second, where’s the skull emoji?

After the date, we can feel the tension on the sofa. Apparently, Curly Sue still loves to go out clubbing and stay up all night, whereas Ryan wants to live the stereotypical heterosexual narrative with a house and kids.

I totally get not wanting to date someone that’s mephed up at 7am, but Ryan was being a little judgemental, especially for someone with a top knot.

Naked Attraction please don’t ever get cancelled and don’t you EVER replace Anna Richardson!

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