Sponsored

The results of MrMan’s Cockapalooza 2022 are in!

On August 12th Mr. Man released 64 celebrity penis GIFs and had users vote for their fave. By round five the finalist were Paul Dawson, Jesse LaVercombe, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, and Michael Fassbender.

Despite the popularity of Fassbender and Taylor-Johnson, the lesser-known Dawson and LaVercombe were the ones to move on to the final round.

There, Dawson beat out LaVercombe with 57.4% of the vote. So how was Paul Dawson able to beat out every other celebrity penis in Hollywood?

Dawson has a gorgeous penis, but in the explicit gay movie Shortbus, he not only masturbates on camera, but, stretches himself into a position in which he’s able to suck himself off. And if you’re wondering if he swallows, the answer is yes.

LaVercombe is a wholesome, unassuming looking man who happens to be packing a whopper of a penis. But that wasn’t enough to beat out the one and only Paul Dawson. Let’s all raise a hand to the Cockapalooza 2022 winner, Paul Dawson!