DISCLAIMER: You may wanna cross your legs for this one.

A man from Michigan reportedly cock-blocked himself when he got six kidney beans stuck in his urethra.

According to the details from Urology Case Reports, the man wanted to “express the beans during ejaculation”. We just hope that he was alone at the time, imagine expecting a facial and you get a macchiato. Nightmare to get out of your beard.

After shoving the beans down his urethra, the 30-year-old hoped to expel them “naturally”, but they got stuck. At which point, he tried to remove them with tweezers.

The guy admitted that he had done this before, but he’d “never attempted to utilize this many beans.” A CT scan confirmed that the beans were stuck, with one ambitious bean straying all the way to the bladder.

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Apparently, medics remove one of the beans by applying numbing cream and squeezing the shaft.

They eradicated the rest of the beans the following day via a complex process that involved holding the man’s urinary entrance open and inserting a tube through which they passed surgical implements. They then plucked out the taco toppers with a tweezer-like tool and placed them in a basket.

New York Post

Thankfully he suffered minimal trauma to his urethra.

The New York Post notes – while branding the idea “bizarre” on a number of accounts – that a ‘sounding’ fetish could be the reasoning for why someone would put beans or other objects into their shaft.

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