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Fitness ‘model’ Bryan Hawn has released a “parody” of Sia’s ‘Elastic Heart’. We thought that parodies are supposed to be funny, but evidentally shameless attempts at self-promotion count too. While Sia has constructed an artistic video that sees Shia LaBeouf wrestling with a young Maddie Ziegler, Hawn’s depicts him working out in a park and writhing around on a sofa while his arse eats his underwear.

Hawn has clearly been watching a lot of Ru Paul, taking those words to live by to heart, he’s literally lip-synching for his life. As though if he under-mimed even one word his oxygen would cut off.  Why though? Maybe he’s lost his voice because the thirst has left him with a dry throat. Seriously though, he mimes better than the likes of Cheryl Fernandez-Versini, so there’s definitely a career awaiting him.

Considering the message behind the song is all about six packs and sex, his video is entirely relevant. Sia can sleep well at night knowing that should something happen to her, there’s an adequate replacement on standby. Although, Bryan might need a boost with his ego for something like that, it’s clearly an area he is lacking.

He alleged wrote to Gay Star News, “I think your viewers will love it”, and GSN responded with “He would be correct.” Fortunately for Hawn, acting and modesty are not attributes they require in a husband. Still, check out the video below where Bryan showcases the most talent we’ve seen since Danny GoGo. Forget fitness, with creative concepts like this, he should storyboarding for the likes of Adele or Ellie Goulding.

You’ve heard of the expression, “make love to the camera”, we think Bryan’s a thimble of lube away from climaxing… We’re so glad he has such loyal and supportive friends that encouraged him to go ahead with this.