As recently discussed between between Luisa and Jim on Celebrity Big Brother, the guy don’t want you if he knows your pussy been passed around the club. Luisa stated that if he was the right guy for her, it wouldn’t matter how many guys she’d been with before him – and Jim told her that guys “don’t think like that”. The fact of the matter is, he’s right. Men are a jealous species in nature and not only does he hate the thought of being compared to potentially better lovers before him, he also hates the thought of another man’s hands being anywhere remotely near your personal parts. (They’re called “privates” for a reason). A jealousy that is made all the harder to control by walking down Old Compton Street with you, bumping into every Tom, Dick and Harry you blew at Circuit festival.

Of course it’s OK for you to have a past – anyone worth knowing does – hell, he probably has one too. He just doesn’t need to know about yours. He’s not going to be at all better off for hearing about that really hot threesome you had in Sitges. Nor will he be hearing about that time you had group masturbation in the Chariots hot tub. And he definitely doesn’t wanna know about the best sex of your life – when it’s not him, anyway.

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If by some chance you’ve found a guy that does love hearing these things, I’m not sure whether to say congratulations or commiserations – but just remember it’s your cum stained bed you’ve made.

That’s not to say you should be ashamed of who you once were (unless you were being dragged around The Hoist in a dog collar), but perhaps don’t volunteer certain details that are gonna make him jump out of his office window – or even worse – take you with him.

I was once seeing a guy that I had a big soft spot for. Just as we started to see each other in a more serious way, little naive me is sitting at a chill out singing his praises, and I’m told about two of his holiday shags. Two people I knew. And one of them was just plain laughable. Like, c’mon, we all make mistakes when we’re high but she must have been TRIPPING BALLS. Anyway, as much as I disliked the thought of him getting with people near my social circle (the mental images were disturbing to say the least), I tried to overlook it – because that’s what you do when you really like someone. And though I put it aside, the idea lurked in the back of my mind somewhere. Especially in the context of these rendezvous’.

Obviously, it never worked out. But my point is that I didn’t benefit slightly knowing about his ratchet shags. So maybe, just maybe, he doesn’t need to know about yours.

By Anthony Gilét

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