Sworn you were being good and then having dinner with a friend just escalated? Who hasn’t. Next thing you know you’ve had five hours sleep in three days and that mother-fucker alarm clock be screaming you out of bed. Urgh. It definitely feels like the end of the world, don’t worry… it’s just a comedown.
1. Crossing the road is quite simply a head-fuck
2. …Or taking a bath
3. …Or even just having a conversation with your colleagues
4. Somebody at work asks “Heavy weekend?”
5. Small things always seem so much bigger…
6. You spend Monday through to Wednesday re-evaluating your life
7. And make the same decision regarding your party lifestyle
8. Until 8pm on Thursday
9. The lady in the Post Office asks how you are
10. You’re haunted by the things you said to people…
11. …And the things you did…Â
12. But then you find out that one of your mates had a ratchet Grindr shag
13. You always feel so skinny afterwards
14. Until the carbs find you anyway
15. And within the space of half an hour, you’re back to your usual physique
16. You only just catch the rush hour train and there’s no space to sit down
17. You got a winter cold that drenches your Metro
18. Even watching an advert for Imodium is a bit emotional
19. There’s always the trauma of having the first poo post-weekend
20. A husky cough on the phone to your parents is standard
21. Your alarm clock sounds like the siren of death
22. Your parents ask what you got up to on Sunday
23. But you can’t help having flashbacks to this
24. Looking in the mirror, even you have to admit you’ve looked better…
25. All you need is 27 hours to catch up on sleep
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