Just our opinion, but if you’re going to make an erotic film, you should do it without the use of prosthetics. ‘Cause otherwise who is the film for? You have to be insane levels of horny to jerk off to a plastic dick.

But still, Birder, which centres around a serial killer hanging out a queer nudist camp, does have some moments of authentic nudity, and very hot sex scenes.

Many people find that the eroticism takes away from the horror side of these films, but this is legitimately a worse nightmare: being shanked while you’re getting risky in the bushes; which would obviously end up in the newspapers. Mortified.

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And, of course, the fairly obvious prosthetics… The least they could do is add a little colour gradient, like come on. Especially given that the wardrobe department didn’t need a budget outside of the fake phalluses.

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