My younger brother came out last year at the age of 27. Coincidentally, I’m also gay but I’ve been out since I was 19 (our mom loves having two gay sons!). My brother recently texted to say he started dating a guy and that they’re officially boyfriends. When he first told me, I was super happy for him (Yay, little bro!).
I asked him to send me a pic of the guy. He sent me the link to the guy’s Instagram page, and that’s when things got weird. My brother’s new boyfriend is my old FWB from college who I’m no longer in contact with! Even worse, he wants to bring him to our family holiday dinner!
I don’t know what to do! Do I tell my brother? Do I wait and act surprised when I see my old FWB? Or do I reach out to him ahead of time? The holidays are fast approaching and I’m kind of freaking out.
Dear Brother,
While I empathise with your weird situation, I’m just gonna cut to the chase.
Even with your overly supportive mother, this scenario is too liberal for it to ever work out in the long-run. Even if you’re OK with it on the surface, those intrusive thoughts will have you picturing your former fling folding up your little brother like an IKEA flat pack just as he used to do to you.
And your bro’s intrusive thoughts will have him wondering if you two will ever rekindle that mediocre affair while he’s away at ComicCon or whatever the gay kids do these days.
Because it’s bad enough when they’ve got an ex that hangs around like a broccoli fart, let alone when the broccoli fart is your own sibling.
As you’re not Meryl Streep, I’d strongly advise against improv-ing your way through Thanksgiving, especially as your old shag is probably unaware he’s making his way through your family tree like a lumberjack. Unless you’re OK with him chopping your dad’s wood too.
Not to mention the awkward toasts, “This year, I’m thankful that my brother and his side piece didn’t work out so that we could get together”.
Remember your loyalties lie with your brother, not some queen you blew in the 90s. So even reaching out to him before speaking to your brother first is shady. And don’t give me that “I just want to protect him” bullshit either; he’s a grown-ass man that can make his own grown-ass decisions about his fucked up life.
Call your brother, tell him the situation, and at worst, seek therapy.
Ciao xoxo
(Original problem submitted via Queerty)