We’ve heard a lot of bat-shit reasons for why people are gay, but this one is the *top*. Second only, to our nan saying that queers love it up the bum because they eat too many microwave meals. GIRL, BOTTOMS DON’T EAT!

Meanwhile, this bishop believes that if pregnant women receive anal, that their baby will turn out gay. As opposed to if she enjoys normal sex, which we all know dents the baby’s head. But for real, what an idiot; everyone knows the only way a pregnant woman can make her baby gay is by watching Drag Race on high volume.

The statement came from The Most Reverend Metropolitan Neophytos (Masouras) of Morfou of the Church of Cyprus, (whatever the fuck that means: no disrespect. Actually, yes disrespect, you homophobic twot).

Although the bishop may have zero idea about actual sexuality, he’s not that old fashioned that he doesn’t know how to vlog. Uploading to Youtube, he claimed that the lack of spirituality and knowledge of Christ births fags. OMG, actually, do you know what? I remember my RE teacher asking me how many disciples Jesus had, and as soon as I said 11, I had this uncontrollable desire to face fuck Ryan Phillippe.

In which he said, [translated]: “Gays are created due [to] the anal sex of a straight couple and only if the woman is into it,’ they wrote. ‘If that happens, the feeling of pleasure the woman feels is transmitted to the unborn child.”


He can’t actually believe that, surely! He also referred to homosexuality as a “sickness”. Girl, the only thing that’s sick around here is your big nose up in our business; why do you CARE who’s gay and who’s not? Ain’t you got some beard-combing to do? Bruh.