JEREMY

It’s fair to say that tattooed hunk Jeremy McConnell is easy on the eyes. But apparently he’s not as easy on the fanny. The rumour mill is whirring that the Mr. Ireland (not Mr. Ireland) reality star once put a girl in the hospital from the size of his manhood. Life goals, anyone? The fling text him the next day from A&E saying that she thought he’d ruptured her appendix with his 10-inch beast. But you know what, God loves a trier, so well done for giving it go, girl. Imagine explaining that one to your mum. Parents always tell you not to put small things in your mouth, but they don’t say anything about huge things up your noonie.

Apparently he uses the chat-up line, “pet the wolf” (regarding the tattoo on his stomach). Cut to the poor girl split open like a faulty zipper, on the operating table screaming, “BEJAYSUS! HE TOLD ME ABOUT THE FECKIN’ WULF, BUT HE FORGOT TO MENTION THE FECKIN’ BEAST IN HIS PANTS!” Doctors telling the lass that her insides look like a punching bag. (It was just a sprain “or something”, though).

The claims come from Jeremy’s housemate Ray, who not only says that he can hear everything through the paper thin walls, but also confirms the size of McConnell’s dong. “I see him naked all the time, he’s proud of his body. He’s not lying when he says he’s 10 inches. He’s a big lad,” he tells The Mirror.

We’re sure Jeremy won’t be short of offers on baggy gash when he leaves the house.

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