A queer, non-binary club host begged the internet to help him cover his $500 AirBnB bill after they destroyed it in a “filthy” sex bender, before then saying his request was a joke.

“Filet Mignon” had travelled to Chicago to host the Sanctum festival but ended up leaving their rental – and hole – in ruins.

Speaking to Queerty, Filet said “I work in political advocacy but in my spare time I’m a Party Mom and Pleasure Captain.” Which is certainly a… creative way to say you go to circuit parties.

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After the… eventful weekend, Filet posted to his Instagram:

“Dear Community, As many of you know this past weekend I hosted @sanctumchicago. The organizer of the event let me stay in an Airbnb, but after the festival was over I begged the Airbnb owner, who lived underneath the unit, if I could stay another 2 nights and he obliged.”

“What happened over the next 40 hours was a sex bender so filthy and indulgent it made the devil himself blush (he was there.) I f*cked on both beds, backed up onto the couch to be double penetrated, let my juices drip off the dining room table and got plowed by my sex machine on the expensive rug.”

“While I thought I was taking necessary precautions to protect the property I actually saturated every permeable surface with coconut oil, silicone lube, and 17 loads from 11 different men.”

“I am reaching out in my time of need. I went to Chicago, partied like a rockstar, trashed an Airbnb, and can’t afford to settle the resulting debt. Anyone who can pitch in 100 will get a dirty jockstrap from this event mailed to them as I haven’t done my laundry.”

THIS is their time of need? Let’s hope they don’t lose a loved one and get lumped with funeral costs or have an accident that racks up a huge medical bill, ’cause everybody knows you only get one “Go FundMe moment” in your life. And even to utilise that one you better be desperate. I just find it hard to believe that they didn’t have someone they could borrow $300 off and keep this to themselves?

They finished by saying, “If you have j*rked off to me, supporting my cause would be a great way to show your appreciation.”

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After the Twitter gays sunk their teeth into them, Filet took to his Instagram page to give a parody apology video.

“I’m so, so sorry that I’m funny and that the joke went right over your heads, causing you to slut shame and denigrate me, and really expose yourselves as self-righteous, jealous prudes.”

If, like us, you’re not quite getting what the “joke” was, Filet goes on to explain that they paid the $350 bill straight away because they can make $350 “in a day” selling nudes.

I guess my question is, if it was a joke, then why did you post a working link for people to donate money? And they did. They donated $350 to their “joke”.