So I’m 34 and my boyfriend is 21. We met about 18 months ago on Seeking Arrangements. A few months after chatting, he finally built up the courage to meet me. We did, and I instantly fell for him because he’s quiet, shy and introverted (my three favourite traits).
He’s also the hottest/sexiest guy I’ve probably ever laid eyes on. There’s just something about his look combined with the shyness that makes me go wild.
The first time we had sex is was like nothing I’d ever experienced. We ‘transcended space and time’ you could say, and the feeling of those first few times are so etched in my mind. I’m top and naturally he’s bottom.
Fast-forward 18 months and we are madly in love, and we have sex 3-5 times a day without fail. Morning, sometimes twice, then after I finish work, and then before sleep – once or twice more.
I’m in a very high paid job, so we decided he would quit his part-time gig at a bakery so he can always be “ready” for me. It was his idea and I supported it because he loves being a stay at home partner, and loves knowing that anytime I want it, he can provide what I want/need.
We’ve kept the pace for 18 months with no signs of it fizzling, what might happen 10-15 years down the line? As if all this fair on him? He gets to chill all day, but he’s sacrificing work/career for the sake of sex. And that’s the most amazing thing and I love him for it… but should we just tone it down to make space for his work?
Am I holding him back by the way our relationship is structured?
I mean, first of all, you’ve really hyped this sugar baby up. The hottest guy you’ve “ever laid eyes on” is quite a statement! You’ve either bagged yourself a outright hottie or have never seen a photo of Jake Gyllenhaal.
But hey, that’s love for you, gets y’all saying some crazy shit. But if he’s really that hot, just get him to do some TikToks taking his shirt off and he’ll be earning more than you in no time.
Totally feel you on the “transcendent” sex, I took shagged a guy on LSD once too – it was wild!
Totes sweet he has your favourite traits, as you also have his: dumb, rich, top. Not to be rude… But you know douching takes 30 minutes, and not the length of an 8-hour shift, right?
At least, this way he won’t be tempted to snack on cakes throughout the day – he can leave that to you.
Coming back to that ‘dumb’ remark, you understand that having money while having to work, and fucking morning and night is literally every gay guy’s dream? If it’s not fair on anyone, it’s the rest of us who don’t get to do that.
While you hail this as “the most amazing thing”, you should probably know that he’s not quitting his job because he loves sex with you, he’s quitting his job because he hates going to work. The WHOLE POINT of having a sugar daddy is that you don’t have to work in retail or hospitality.
I certainly wouldn’t be worried about his “career” working in a bakery, unless he was an understudy for Rudyard Kipling. If anything he can use the time at home to build a business of his own.
But why are you so worried about the future? Are you expecting to downgrade your income? Or are you saying that if you’re not fucking five times a day, you’re gonna send him back to Greggs at 35 with no prospects?
If you’re concerned that maybe the relationship won’t last and he’ll have no career to go back to – that’s surprisingly part of the risk when someone else goes to work every day and you’re on the sofa watching Loose Women – you have to start at the bottom like everybody else.
Either way, the biggest worry would be your shy little bottom’s baggy bussy giving out after being ploughed 1,500 times a year (yeah we did the math). If you really love him… care as much about his hole as you do his bank account.
Good luck! Xoxo