‘New’ homosexual Colton Underwood will navigate his terrifying journey of being a beautiful and rich white gay guy on a reality show that he landed before even coming out of the closet. How brave!

Thankfully, he won’t have to tread the choppy waters alone, and will be joined by life coach and hardship guru Gus Kenworthy; who will bestow a full five years of wisdom onto him.

Kenworthy, himself has encountered a number of trials as a queer man, like not getting cast in American Horror Story until season 8, and only marrying once.

It’s reported that Gus will hold Colton’s hand while he overcomes petrifying gay traumas like not being able to have sex at the gym because you forgot your douche, having nothing to wear to Ricky Martin’s pool party, and having the barista at Starbucks put full-fat milk in your ice latte.

Apparently, producers turned down the idea of having Underwood being guided by Billy Porter, Leslie Jordan or Ru Paul because they feared it might make the show too interesting, and therefore unappealing to their flat-white demographic.