Donald Trump and his puppet wife Melania have tested positive for Coronavirus. The president made the announcement on Twitter, writing:

The positive result (*snigger*) comes after Trump’s closest aid Mr Hicks tested positive. Hicks was on the airplane to Tuesdays presidential debate with Trump and some of his family members… like Ivanka.

Who was notably seen wearing her mask for all of five minutes during the debate. And so quite possibly passed it on to her dad when he kissed her goodbye (with tongues).

Most readers will not need us to point out the irony that Trump has not pushed the idea of wearing a mask nor practiced socially distancing. In fact, when the illness first arose Trump suggested the injection of clorox could be a plausible cure… wonder if he’s willing to give it a try himself?

Trump’s physician Sean Conley said: “”both well at this time, and they plan to remain at home within the White House during their convalescence”.

“Rest assured I expect the president to continue carrying out his duties without disruption while recovering.”

Trump is 74 and part of the high-risk group.