RuPaul imaged himself off both Santa and Jesus when he announced earlier this year we’d be getting a season special of Drag Race.

As a Drag Race fan, another one-off episode was just what we wanted this Christmas, but sadly when RuPaul’s Drag Race Holi-Slay Spectacular was unwrapped we were left with a lump of coal, wondering if we’d been naughty this year.

The Holi-Slay Spectacular was the first of its kind as RuPaul continues to expand the limitless Drag Race brand, and that’s exactly what it looked like; a cash-in on Ru’s Christmas album via a lacklustre – and ultimately, pointless – episode. This comes from someone who loves even the boring episodes of Drag Race, but this was like the spin-off that only die-hard fans will enjoy despite its weak plot line.

The queens sang for an entire episode, (when really half an episode each season is more than enough), a string of new RuPaul jingles. With the best bit, undoubtedly seeing Ru rap one of his own songs on the main stage with hunks in underwear and legs for days. 

We’d love to tell you that this review is spoiler-free, but there really is jack shit to spoil. No winner was announced in the fluffy representation of what Drag Race usually looks like. But rather, a frustrating “we are all winners”, a la Snatch Game. The entire show was scripted, apart from the tiny segments of the workroom that weren’t butchered out of the final edit.

The runway was definitely worth watching, but the judges were uncomfortably nice about every contestant – even Jasmine Masters, who covered, not just her mouth, but her entire face during the lip-sync, while the judges sang along and clapped. We’re all for Christmas cheer but this was just disingenuine bullshit.

We still can’t wait for All Stars 4, and Drag Race UK, where the format is familiar and the bloodthirst is real.