Breakfast-fetchers at an Edinburgh branch of McDonald’s were treated to more than a Sausage McMuffin when a guy began dancing naked on the countertops.

29-year old Ryan Dolan from Musselburgh pleaded guilty to public indecency after helicoptering his knob at customers at 5am. My, they’ve certainly changed the Happy Meals since our day.

Sheriff Lavelle claims Dolan entered the restaurant in the early hours and “Out of the blue he took his trousers and pants off, showing his penis and testicles and thereafter was dancing with his trousers down”. And thereafter one endured a bitch of a hangover.

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Dolan then scaled the counter and pretended to be a Maccy D’s worker, serving customers with his penis.

“But I didn’t ask for a milksha-?! Ewww!”

Despite being told to leave, he “started dancing again, carrying out helicopter-like moves with his penis”. Well, it certainly sounds like he had more enthusiasm than your average fast food server.

Lavelle claimed it was “boisterous acts, heavily fuelled by alcohol”. Perhaps, legally. To us it’d’ve been a free strip show. But hey, one gal’s criminal offence is another’s McTasty.


[H/t: Gay Pop Buzz]