“It sounds pretty sick, doesn’t it?” My friend responds to Ezra Miller‘s recent disclosure to Playboy magazine that he is part of a polyamorous molecule of friends.
Of course, when he says ‘sick’, he’s using slang for cool. Miller said in the interview:
“I’m trying to find queer beings who understand me as a queer being off the bat, who I make almost a familial connection with, and I feel like I’m married to them 25 lifetimes ago from the moment we meet,” he explains. “And then they are in the squad—the polycule. And I know they’re going to love everyone else in the polycule because we’re in the polycule, and we love each other so much.”
My friend and I continue to ponder the concept a bit longer. To some, it may sound like an entitled long-term gangbang, but to others – especially those who have been hurt in love before – the idea of having a deeper connection with these people is definitely something that sounds appealing. Kind of like a support group, where you occasionally fuck. Throw it a few tabs of acid and it’s the 60s again.
Anybody who’s had a tight-knit friendship circle will know how comforting and supportive it can be. Although the one issue they can’t really help you out with is a monster dry-spell.
Unlike open-relationships you’re not actually fully committed to one person, but rather openly and equally committed to all, or a number, members of the group. Which means that there’s no misconception that a couple has just tired of one another in the bedroom.
And unlike a fuck buddy, there’s a sense of caring and respect there…. as well as a dozen other people. Which, if you’re having casual sex anyway, at least offers variety.
So while polycules are perhaps in no-way a replacement for those who desire traditional, monogamous relationships, could they be a temporary supplement? At least for those of us who can’t currently face the complexities, effort and pain of dating. For those of us too busy for full-time boyfriends, but yearn for the company, intimacy and warmth that all humans do. Or for those that need regular support and dick but can’t even get a text back.
Are polycules the way for us to have our cake and eat it too?
“Well, it might be a bit much at Christmas, imagine bringing someone different home to meet the family every year…” my friend quipped.