It’s been a while since our last Gays Overheard; any avid readers will clock that we say that every single time (sorrrrry!) but we really are trying to get this feature as much as possible, due to all the positive feedback we’ve had.

Unfortunately, you can’t always rely on the gays you’re overhearing to actually be funny. Vapid? Sure! Funny? Not so much.

But here we have some golden one-liners all the way from South Beach, Miami.

On people’s lips this time around are diva dogs, prison bae goals and chronic depression! Enjoy dahlings.