BY: Anthony Gilét
Valentines can be a tough time for a lot of people. Not people in a relationship, obviously. Seriously, if you have a significant other – don’t even with me. Here’s our devised guide of things for singletons to avoid when feeling the pressure of being one-man wagon…
1. Watching any kind of romantic comedy or happy ending
2. Going to any restaurant that’s not a KFC
3. Or the cinema…
4. You should probably avoid shopping too
5. Drunk-dialling your ex
6. Giving morning greetings to happy couples
7. Getting on your knees if you’re not giving head
8. Talking to anyone in the office who might ask what your “plans” are…
9. Looking at any romantic check-ins on social networks
10. Prove that misery does love company
11. Getting involved with somebody who is anti-Green
12. Letting anybody know your real plans for Valentine’s
13. Turning to Twitter to offload your feelings
14. Getting stoned and going on Grindr
15. Filling out any form that asks your ‘marital status’
16. Saying inappropriate things to strangers in the club
17. Attempting to get comfort from your parents
18. Replacing love with sex
19. Turning up to the airport in a big romantic gesture to find out he’s got someone else
20. After being asked to be your other single friend’s Valentine
21. When asked “table for two?”
22. Having a few shots and doing something you might regret
23. Taking home a guy you’ve just met
24. When people you’ve just met ask if you’re seeing someone
25. And, basically this
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>> 30 Things Buffy The Vampire Slayer Taught Us About Dating