gaylove

LOVE. That thing that makes all rationale go out the window. That thing that makes otherwise normal people behave like basket cases. That thing that inspires millions of artists, all day every day. That thing that everybody hopes to find one day. Sure, not everybody is out there on dating apps, actively seeking it, but when all is said and done – nobody would turn down love if it knocked at their door. But, and here’s the big question: what is love? Is it the butterflies-in-the-stomach, can’t-breathe-when-I’m-not-with-him love that is shoved down our throats in big Hollywood movies? Or is that an unrealistic fantasy, and it’s actually something you have to work at?

They say that love is about compromise. But should you really change who you are for someone else? If somebody loves you, they should be willing to work at things/on themselves, right? But, if they ask you to do the same, is it then being unreasonable? Sure, in an ideal world you meet your perfect man, your missing jigsaw piece (urgh, hate that idea that we’re not complete until he comes along, but it can be true) – and live happily ever after. But what is the likelihood? This is not a Hollywood movie, and you aren’t going to drop your day planner one day for him to find and cheekily turn up to one of your events to return it, and simultaneously ask you out. So do we need to get real with ourselves?

Some say that love and marriage are hard; they take work. But should they? Shouldn’t love be easy? Shouldn’t we be totally bowled over and dizzy from the start? And if so, is anything less than that settling? This could well be a dangerous mindset that leads to us growing old – and ultimately dying – unmarried and unloved. (Of course, most of us will have family and friends that will love us ’til the end, but we ain’t gonna fuck them). So do we keep searching until we find that one person who makes our heart skip a beat, or do we stick up a middle finger to loneliness and take as close as we can get?

This is your life. You can’t erase things and start again. So you need to be cautious not to fuck it up. Is anything less than ‘crazy in love’ worth giving everything for?