The Olympics are officially here. Great. We hate the Olympics. Seriously? Overcrowded streets, overpopulated trains, excess traffic – LATER! In fact the only two good things about the Olympics are hot athletes and lycra material. Enter Tom Daley. Twinks are totes not my type, but admittedly he’s fit. And I’m MAJE meal of his stomach – and teeth, damn those bitches are gleaming.
We’re gonna ignore the fact that he made that STUPID ‘Call Me Maybe’ spoof. I’m not embedding that shit here, there should be no promotion for that shit. Douche. And it did in fact affirm that he is 16. And probably gay. Either way, as long as he’s given medals for skimpy speedos diving he’ll continue to ignite the pedophiliac fantasies of the rest of the country. But yeah, God, don’t forget it’s the diving that gets medals – she’ll have a right good moan about that one – “No one remembers I’m a diver, whah whah whah!” give it up, and get ’em off!

That, is a bulge girl.

And I thought I had back off… Damn